"Chug, chug, sputtle, sputtle"
'Damn, my car needs fixing', I thought, as my car of 15 years came to a halt on a quiet suburban street in Birmingham.
That was 13 months ago. The story that follows is quite bizarre and has, to be brutally honest, frustrated me.
I managed to take my car to a local garage, it was a slow journey, pressing down on the accelerator would cause the car to jump and chug.
Anyway... on arriving at the garage I was given some strange looks by the mechanics. I booked the car in for a full service and checked my bank balance... this was going to put a dent in my finances but it needed to be done.
Almost 24 hours later I received a phone call. "It's the fuel injection/pump, it's completely gone...you are looking at 600, maybe 700 with labour."
How long will it take?", I asked
"Well, we have to order the parts so it could take up to four days for those to get here. We do have a garage about three miles away that you could take your car to though"
Given the second option meant my car would be fixed and back on the road within 24 hours I decided to head back to the garage to take my car three miles down the road.
Later that day...
I arrived at the garage and told the head mechanic that it was a fuel injection/pump problem. I ordered a cab and headed back home.
3 hours later I received a phone call. Apparently I had a cam shaft problem.
"What about the fuel injection/pump problem?" I asked.
"We don't see any problem with the fuel injection/pump, we ran a series of tests using our new diagnostic tool, it's definitely a cam shaft problem"
"Diagnostic tests?"
"Yes, we basically ask 5 of our mechanics to look at your car...we don't actually open the bonnet or put your car in the air to look underneath, we just...well, we just look at it then discuss what the problem could be"
"So, you are just guessing that it's a cam shaft problem?" I asked.
"Well, it's more than guesswork....the diagnostic tool has been proven."
"So, you are telling me that without actually looking at the fuel injection/pump you have diagnosed that there isn't a fuel injection/pump problem...in fact the problem is a dodgy cam shaft... and you have not physically seen the dodgy cam shaft?"
"Yes, correct sir"
"Well, when will it be fixed?", I asked.
"We don't think you are capable of looking after your car and have decided to keep it here. Furthermore, we have obtained a court injunction that prohibits you from talking about our decision and diagnosis to anyone."
Sounds bizarre doesn't it.
You can imagine my reluctance to leave my car in the hands of mechanics who hadn't bothered to look at the engine and parts that made the engine tick over.
It turns out that the mechanics were all former psychiatrists.
Now read the related stories below.
Bob Fiddaman
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